Quick Recap to Go Back Even Further

What the heck? LaSuperFox is logging on again? It's been FOREVER...For - ev- ver...For - Ev - VER...(okay, enough) and she said she'd be posting all the time, no matter what. What's she thinking coming back now?

Well, I'm back and better than ever. More personal details. More dirt on my dating scene....seriously, these blogs are gonna get crazy. Well, crazy personal.

There's a lot that had gone on since my last post. I had a boyfriend (we'll call him Hehaw) for all of two seconds who I was totally settling with rather than with him because he was awesome. Hehaw Boyfriend was SUPER nice and giving and wanting to take care of me right away (which was stifling so early on, and I nixed that quickly). Fortunately, he told me he loved my on Valentine's Day, which was also the same day he tried to break up with me and restart with me. Yeah. What a hot mess. And I was so busy trying to hold on to just to make SOMEthing work that I actually stayed through the night and instigated speaking to him (briefly and via text) the next day. That conversation made me let go right quick, though. He didn't say anything horrid, but he certainly wasn't worth my time any more. I said "fortunately" because if it weren't for that silliness I would have likely stayed even longer when it was completely clear that I shouldn't be with him. I really don't even think it makes sense to call him an ex-boyfriend, it was so short-lived and silly (what, am I 10 and going out with a boy only for the length of recess? -- that really did happen once; so sad).

I may be having a hard time of it when it comes to picking them in the get-go, but at least I'm getting better about letting it end and understanding that, seriously, they're called break ups because they are SOOOOO broken.

Dating. I've mostly given up with trying to meet men online - at least on the free sites - and I am NOT paying to maybe find a date, thank you.

Shortly after the afore-mentioned boyfriend, I started dating a man (Ratatouille) I had been in friendly conversation with for a couple of months (whom I became "friends" with prior to meeting Hehaw) who lived in another state; I never EVER though we'd be more than friends. We ended up finally meeting in person and I was way into him from that night on. We dated for roughly 5 or 6 months, seeing each other every 2-4 weeks because I traveled to his state so often. He was so easy to be with in the beginning, and then I found myself not being treated the way I wanted to be; he didn't want to spend as much time with me as he could when I was in town, just a day or two including some nights - this didn't change even when I hadn't seen him in a month and was there for a week or more at a time. Helloooooo, red flag. But I had invested time and energy and emotion into him - and that makes me hold on for rediculous amounts of time when I should let go.

Look, I'm all for relationships taking work because we're all different and all, but when you're the only one working in it it's clearly time to move on.

Ratatouille ended things "suddenly" two days after we had spent two days in a hotel together (where everything seemed peachy) and made me come out at 12:30am (because he worked until midnight) to do so. He pulled the "I hope we can be friends card" (nonsense) and I got my booty up, walked right out smiling, and deleted him from my life. Mostly. Truth is, I made the idiotic choice to lend him money so he could go to his (mostly step) brother's wedding just south of where I live. I wanted to see him. I thought it was a nice thing to do. I trusted he'd pay me back completely and quickly.

I made a stupid mistake. He still owes me almost $200. There was some communication with him via email where he insisted he was happy to pay me as soon as the next couple of checks came in...I haven't received a reply to my last two email attempts. I may cave and call him, though one of my best friends (he doesn't know) is jonesing to go to his work and cause a scene. That's not taking the high road, but the thought does make me giggle. Some of you readers who know me will be shocked to read that I loaned him the money - and the only reason I hadn't said anything is total embarrassment. So many lessons for me to learn.

This last year I have been doing a LOT of self-reflecting, especially on why I keep making poor choices in these relationships. As you read above, I have realized - with the genius help of my wonderful BFF / Sister from another Mister (& Mother) - that I invest and then have a hard time letting go because I don't think I can get better men.

But the deep dark secrets & details of that will have to come another blog.