Online Dating 2

I despise online dating....and no, I won't stop doing it.  : D

The reason I use the word "despise" is due to the fact that somebody can wink or smile or...OK, come to think of it, I DESPISE some aspects of dating all together, period.

If somebody tells you they're not interested...just leave it alone.  For Pete's sake, don't keep PRODDING.

Saturday night, while out with the girls, I was privy to the inevitable "Two o'clock Girl Treatment."  Y'all know what I'm talking about...it's the end of the night, they're herding people out the doors, and there are plenty of drunk girls everywhere making poor decisions...along with a lot of guys that have little to no numbers and are scrambling to get somewhere with somebody - FAST.  So I'm sitting there and this bloke comes up and his opening line is, SERIOUSLY: "Hello.  How are you tonight?  May I have your phone number?"

Really?

"I'm fine, thanks, and no, you may not.  How are you?"  -  "What?  Are you serious?  Just give me your phone number."  -  "No, thank you."  -  "I can't have your phone number?"  -  "No.  I already answered this question."  -  "Well, why not?  Why are you trying to be mean?"  -  "I'm not being mean by not giving you what you want exactly when you want it, just because you want it.  I don't want to give you my number because I don't know you, you haven't tried to talk to me all night, and now that it's closing time you're just trying to grab at phone numbers."  -  "Well, how about your email?"  -  "No.  I'm not going to give you anything."  And he finally walked away.

Yes.  My sole desire is to be mean to you by withholding my phone number when you don't give me the time of day before closing time.

Now, with these online dating sites, you can run into the same things.  Throughout my time of traipsing through this online world-o-dating, I have had my share of trying to determine whether or not to reply to the "winks," "smiles," "ice breakers," "woos," and the regular emails, among other things.  It's hard to just delete these things without responding in some fashion.  My standard, if I reply, is generally, "Thank you for your (insert type here), but I don't feel we're a good match.  I hope you have a great (fill in the blank with day of the week, etc.)!"

Why can't it just be left at that?  Some men say, "Thank you for your reply.  Good luck to you, too!" or something else respectful and normal.  THANK YOU FOR THOSE, you men who do that.

The following is, by no means, the worst exchange ever, but it's the latest (from a man who is 1,559 miles away anyway):

>Hello, would you like to talk ? I'm sure that you get covered up in responses but please don't just skip over this one. Ha. Thanks and hope to hear back from you soon..........NAME

Without viewing his profile or pictures:
>>You live a billion miles away. : )
 
>They have airplanes now days..............Ha
 
Checked out his profile, and there are some life choices he's making that I don't want to live with and comment on his personality in general, which I found to be unattractive.

>>I appreciate the email, but after checking out your profile I don't think we're a good fit, even without the miles. I hope you have a great week!
 
>Just out of curiousity.....what was unfitting ?
 
Now, he cannot spell, AND this question drives me CRAZY.  Sometimes I just don't reply and sometimes even block them; this one I responded to with:
 
>>This is always an odd question to get from people, and it's even harder to answer via email because tone doesn't translate well, so I end up sounding rude when I'm just trying to be tactful. I don't think it's a fair question to ask and put somebody in the position of possibly being taken as insulting.


>>Why, exactly, I feel we're not a good fit doesn't matter because my telling you any specifics won't change the fact that I don't feel we are. Based on your profile, which is here to help me determine whether or not I'd like to even email with you, let alone pursue a pretty long-distance relationship, I am not interested in continuing to exchange emails.


>>Thank you for your interest; I do find it flattering, and it's not that you're an unattractive guy...it's that I don't think we're a good fit.


>>I sincerely wish you the best.

Ugh.  So uncomfortable.  To really answer his question I could have said, "You smoke, which I find to be gross in a partner and the fact that you say you'll quit, but only after you find somebody to quit for leads me to believe you don't want to take care of yourself for you.  In turn, this all causes me to feel not attracted to your personality, but very specifically do I find you to be unappealing.  And, though you're not an ugly human being, I don't think you're physically attractive enough to find out more about your personality than is already in your profile." 
 
Is that what he wanted to hear?  No.  That's not why he asked the question...at least it would be unhealthy if that's what he wanted or expected to hear.  Those answers aren't going to change him or me and are therefore irrelevant.  SO WHY ASK ME?!?!  Bah.  So so sooooo awkward.
 
Thanks for listening and I hope it (maybe?) helps you to tastefully deal with it if you run into it out there in the world or online and to stay chill about it, too.  Hahaha.
 
-La Super Fox