Train

Moving Forward.  Moving Forward.  MovingForward.  Movingforward.  movingforward movingforward.  movingforwardmovingforwardmovingforwardmovingforwardmovingforwardmovingforward. 

Good grief, I sound like a train.  Trouble is, some other emotions and thoughts are trying to freight-train their way toward my mantra, making it seem more like a little caboose at times.  

I have recently gone through yet another break up.  I don't know that they've gotten easier through the years, but they have gotten different.  Do I think I loved Doug* as much as I loved Rex*?  Well, no.  I thought, fast and hard, that I would marry Rex...thought this without a doubt.  But I did love Doug and, even more, must have loved the idea of what Doug and I COULD be (and were, at times).  Truth is, it's not that we didn't have a lot in common, which we didn't, but that we didn't have me and our relationship in common.  I don't know how "in the mood" I am to get deeper into this right noooow, but I have at least come to that realization...AKA: We were not in the same relationship and did not share the same relationship goals.  

Great.  Can my heart now come to that same realization so I can take a nap without prematurely waking with the lovely anxiety that it's over?  I'm suffering a loss, yes, but it's a loss of what could have been and not what actually was as a whole.  So?


So I keep training my train.  And I'll do that until my Moving Forward muscle is stronger than the weight I'm lifting.


In the mean time, I'll still be OK.  Because I am a SUPER FOX!






*Obviously the names have been changed.  Let's face it, when was the last time you met a Rex?  : )